Living one day at a time.
Memorial Day–remembering past lives and service of our military, also those serving now at home and deployed. My father is in the American Legion and there will be a service around the flagpole in a local cemetery this morning at 11. Since he is doing part of the service, I need to close work and go.
This past month has been one of those you wish you could–forget, do over, skip past–my Mother has be diagnosed with a renal pelvis cancer. There are some options but at my Mom’s age and weight they are not the choices. I can’t accept that there is no way to remove this tumor, so have spent hours on the Internet searching. Have discovered one method that is minimally invasive and have now spent more hours looking for someplace closer than Japan that does it. We do have an appt. with her Dr. the first of June to discuss this as an option and hopefully a referral to a place. I have printed over 50 pages of info and plan to take them with me when we go.
RJ has discovered the joy of walking where she wants to go, tilts her head in that direction, puts her shoulders back and off she goes in the toddler waddle. Oh the changes that makes in her independence.
The woods behind my house is home to one remaining feral cat. My next door neighbor keeps food out for her and this spring noticed she was going to have kittens. There is a white oak tree about 20 feet from the edge of the woods and like all older white oaks is hollow. This one has an opening about 2 feet up the trunk. Knottie(white min. poodle) was having a hissy fit around and around the base of the tree. Mama cat jumps out of the hollow and takes off for the woods–Knottie right behind barking. Almost to the edge she changes her mind about leaving her kittens does an about face, Knottie yelps in a high pitch about faces and now Mama cat is chasing him. By the time he gets to me, she turns, sits down and starts to lick her paws. He is ready to go in the house.
Have now seen the kittens, there are 3: one yellow and two gray striped.
Whew, spring left in a hurry! The temps have been in the upper 80’s this week. My pansies are getting really leggy so I will be getting my summer flowers this weekend. Also need to get my tomatoes and peppers in my pots. Just have not figured out the best place to put the pots so they get good sun and no breeze off the sound. Found out last year, tomatoes do not like salt mist.
I kept my granddaughter this past weekend and the other grandparents keep HWS, so that their parents could have a weekend to peruse Old Town in SC. Took her to church all dressed in pink and she just wowed her church community. She commented the loudest during prayer, but in a happy way and I know the Holy Spirit understood her.
It is so amazing how love expands and grows. The two lovies above are my grandkids, RJ is 8 months and HWS is 2. They have not only expanded my love but now challenge my memory of childhood rhymes and songs. They make Christmas all the more exciting.
RJ is crawling and pulling herself up on all things, taking those first tentative steps to walking. HWS is learning so fast, and has so many new words(some of them I even understand). His newest(esp. since RJ started crawling) is MINE. This is an important idea to learn, because how do you learn what sharing is? unless you understand mine?
We have “Cookies & Carols” Sunday night at contemporary service, best I can tell is a cross between “Love Feast” and “Lessons & Carols”. The praise team is singing 3 songs: “Welcome to Our World”, “Breath of Heaven”, and “Christ Child’s Lullaby” then asking others to sing 5 carols with us. I will be baking cookies on Saturday and have asked HWS to come help Grandma.
Let Me Rise
By Wendell Berry
When I rise up
let me rise up joyful
like a birdWhen I fall
let me fall without regret
like a leaf.
Source: “Prayers and Sayings of the Mad Farmer” from Collected Poems
Remembrance of saints, homecoming at church, dinner on the grounds after church, HWS(grandson)’s second birthday all occurred yesterday. A mix of sorrow, welcome, feasting and unbridled happiness in the span of yesterday which thankfully had an extra hour.
I have pet names for my grandkids, HWS I call my “sugarbear” and RJ is my “sweetpea”. Their costumes for Halloween…HWS was a monkey(only because we could not find a bear costume) complete with the sounds that a monkey makes and RJ was a peapod. HWS was a delight even though he could not say “trick or treat” only wave and say bye. RJ was not happy being confined in the peapod since she is newly crawling and is so delighted with her ability to move to something or someone as she wants.
HWS gives a one finger on one hand and one finger on the other when asked how old he is. We had a cookout and of course an Elmo cake. It was family for this BD. HSW was surrounded by aunts, uncles and numerous grands….Granny, Grandma, Meme, GG, Grandpop and Grandpa…..that he keeps straight.
….”Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life…Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”
It is only Tuesday and this week so far is chaos. I really need to take the above to mind and soul.
My car is deader than a couch on a sandbar for 10 years. It is now back in my garage and a new computer has been ordered…week to 10 days. Thankfully I’m able to use Mother’s car. This occurred yesterday morning as I was trying to head to work and since it was Monday by my parent’s house to drop of Knottie, since I had class. Called HWB when car would not start and he was already gone, called Dad, he came and picked us up, dropped him and Knottie at his house taking Mom’s car to get to work. Afternoon and Dad calls and tells me he took car to Sears for a new battery and when it was replaced all electrical thingys quit working, causing Sears guy to shrug and say “oops”. Dad then took car to dealership and learned it was “probably” computer-none in stock, has to be ordered…$600 and another $200 to put it in. MIGHT just fix problem. It is now on order. Another car not an option at this point, market down too much to cash out stock to pay for another car.
Headed for class leaving work at 6 pm, wreck on the 2-lane high rise bridge to next town…arrived at class at 7, the guy who runs the power point also stuck in same jam, so did not miss the media part of class. Why is it that 1 hour spent sitting in your car not moving is so much longer than an hour spent with friends having a good time?
Will continue to use Mom’s car. Have been waiting a month for the call that the 50 pounds of fresh shrimp I ordered were ready–know when the call comes? Right, this morning. Off I go to get the shrimp, which this year I paid more to have already headed. Got them to put extra ice, so they can wait until after work to be portioned and packed for the freezer. Fresh caught shrimp for supper tonight. Best taste ever!
Dad has to go in for ultrasound and x-rays tomorrow, which is another added to this short week. Praying that all is well and no leaking around the graft. I can usually not let things get to me, but this has been a bit much. Mom stresses quickly and she is getting so frail that it is not good for her. I hate that I have added to her plate. I think I’ll borrow some of HWS’s and RJ’s bibs for us.
According to local weather, the storm we have been having for the past 2 days with winds blowing at 20-35 and gusts to 45 is not tropical because the isobars are further from the center, but that might be changing and the hurricane fliers are going into storm to check it out.
Whatever, my plants have still blown over and all the outside furniture on the front porch ended up in the yard yesterday. We are supposed to get over 1″ of rain, but so far seems to be going elsewhere. The rain is really needed. Since the wind is from the NE, the front door of the business opens on its own and Knottie goes barking at the “ghost” coming in the door. He has had a lot of exercise.
DIL brought HWS by Tuesday after he had his first haircut. He had such pretty curls and now there are none. One stage is over and another begins….no more baby….now little boy. He has a nice haircut, just (boo-hoo) no curls. As a grandmother I lament this passing, but delight in his growing into new stages of life.
Really looking forward to just going home tonight, I have had meetings every night since Sunday. Tonight I plan to fill the bathtub, bubble bath, glass of wine and a book and soak and read for an hour or two. Supper is already cooked and will just have to be heated. I might even be able to stay awake and watch ER start the new season.
August and is it ever hot and humid with heat advisories each day for the past 3 days. When it is this h & h all you want to do is be inside in the AC and at work that means trying to be as still as possible since the AC there is minimal.
The new granddaughter is to be baptized Aug. 17. RJ is now 4 months and smiling and babbling and drooling(teeth starting to come in) I am so thankful that HWB and DIL are engaged with the baptism and all the I will’s and I do’s they will avow. Grandmothers and Mothers set examples, but the Dads are the ones that really show the children what it is to be Christian.
My favorite Aunt died last week, 12 days short of her 91st birthday. She is the sister who raised and cared for my Dad when he was growing(his Mother died shortly after his birth) so she was very special to him. His last visit with her, they said goodbye and remembered old times. He did not want to replace his last memories of her by going to the funeral. My brother and I both offered to take him to second state north of us for the funeral. I kept him busy at work splicing and pulling off rope the day of the funeral. We placed a white rose on the altar on Sunday in her memory. When I took the rose on Saturday, it was a bud. On Sunday morning it was fully open, just so apt for memory of a long life.
Noticing What Is
Eugene Peterson
“We wake up each morning to a world we did not make. How did it get here? How did we get here? We open our eyes and see that ‘old bowling ball the sun’ careen over the horizon. We wiggle our toes. A mockingbird takes off and improvises on themes set down by robins, vireos, and wrens, and we marvel at the intricacies…. There is so much here–around, above, below, inside, outside. Even with the help of poets and scientists we can account for very little of it. We notice this, then that…. Before long we are looking out through telescopes and down into microscopes, curious, fascinated by this endless proliferation of sheer Is-ness–color and shape and texture and sound.
After awhile we get used to it and quit noticing. We get narrowed down into something small and constricting. Somewhere along the way this exponential expansion of awareness, this wide-eyed looking around, this sheer untaught delight in what is here, reverses itself: the world contracts; we are reduced to a life of routine through which we sleepwalk. But not for long. Something always shows up to jar us awake.”
from Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places
I read this a couple of days ago and thought about the blessing that an 18 month grandson (HWS) provides in opening our eyes to all that is around us–from the dust bunnies under the bed to the bark of the woodpecker tree.
With the advent of some warm sunny days, business has picked up at work, nights are either filled with meetings or getting by to hold and snuggle with my grand kids. RJ is starting to smile and she is growing and changing every time I see her, she is moving from newborn to baby. HWS is now aware of who “Sissy” is and will point to her when asked.
There was an unexpected visitor to their house last night around 11:30. Young lady driving was also texting and ran off road between 2 huge Magnolias, over 6 foot berm taking out 2 plantings, down the berm and into He Who Builds dually, hitting it in the rear wheels and moving it 2 feet. The noise woke the dogs, who barked and then settled back down to sleep (remember this is a household with new baby, so sleep is precious and starts early in the evening). DIL shook He Who Builds 3 or 4 times telling him she heard the doorbell. He finally gets up, put on his britches, goes to the door and sees young lady running down the street. Comes out of the house, still somewhat sleep befuddled and tries to understand how a Trailblazer is parked in his driveway against his truck in the wrong direction. Thankfully, no one is hurt, damage to truck is minimal, Trailblazer more extensively damaged and texting young lady has probably learned a lesson. After police, tow truck and lots more people, son and DIL are finally back in bed just in time for RJ’s 2 am feeding.
After checking out the tracks this morning, I am amazed that the texting young lady threaded the needle between the Magnolias. Thanks be to God all are well!
Just realized looking at the date of the last post it has been a week. And to say that again IT HAS BEEN A WEEK! The addition of RJ to our family has mixed all manner of things. My personal commitments, work, and helping care for HWS have left little time for much else except falling into bed exhausted. When does the second wind come?
Today dawned warmer, so the fog is thick and just starting to swirl as the wind picks up. Reminds me of my life right now.
The retreat I was on, that seems ages ago, added a point to grateful fors that I am not real anxious to add–what today am I least grateful for? In thinking about that each night, I find that I also move to the next step, if I’m not grateful for it, Why? and How does it get changed to something I can be grateful for?
I try to fall asleep at night thinking on one of my grateful fors. Much better than counting sheep.
Lookoutlady's Marsh 